What I really want to say

A lot of people ask me, "So how's homeschooling going?" or "You home school, isn't that hard?".  Most of the time I say it's going great, or its hard a lot of days but worth it.

What I really want to say is:

It sucks. It's hard.  Most days I feel like a failure.  Most days I feel like I need at least four more of me to be able to get everything done that needs to be done.  I have three kids constantly wanting my one on one attention and there is only one of me.  Today I was playing Candy Land with Owen while wearing Kennedy in her wrap trying to get her to nap and answering questions Landen had on his math program. During all this I was really thinking, "I really want a cup of coffee and some breakfast...oh and I need to pee."

Today has been a day that I wonder what the heck I'm doing...and I wonder if I'm screwing all my kids up.  I just try to keep telling myself that I love them and I'm trying to do what I think is best for them...that's all I can do right now. I told Landen that sometimes I wonder if I should send him back to ps. Not for anything he's done wrong but simply because I don't want to screw him up.  He said, "Mom, I hated school then, now its fun. I love spending time with you every day."  I'm trying to tell myself that means I'm doing something right by him. I'm trying to see the whining and not listening for what it is, being kids...and not that I am doing something wrong.

So for today, we're reading...and reading...and playing Legos, and enjoying the beautiful day.  Tomorrow we'll go over verbs and adjectives. Today we need to enjoy the day.